Motherhood is beautiful and scary and unpredictable at the same time. Before the baby’s arrival, we watch and read so much on the internet and start deciding what we will do and what we will not. But guess what! we don’t realize that babies also have their preferences and likes dislikes. They might just not like our idea and completely reject it, so be better prepared for everything. So for those kinda things, let you and your baby decide together what works best for you both.
But here I am gonna mention some general points that a mother should do and some things she should avoid. These are just my opinion based on my experience and knowledge. Your opinions can differ, so feel free to share yours too.
Do’s as a mother
Trust your instincts while making decisions
They say, “When a child is born so is a mother”. It’s so right. Becoming a mother means making lots of choices; breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, pacifier or no pacifier, co-sleeping or cot-sleeping, baby-led weaning or traditional baby purées, store-bought or homemade food, screen time or no screen time etc. As a first time mother, it is sooo overwhelming 😫 especially when there is too many unsolicited advice coming from everywhere. Whether they are your closed ones like your mother or mother-in-law or some stranger aunties, neither they had spent that extra 9 months with the child before his birth nor the day and night every day after.
I completely understand that for new mothers this decision making can be so stressful. And these advices could be very helpful at times. So listen to their pieces of advice and then go with your instincts because at the end of the day you will be held responsible for everything that happens to the baby and not them. God has made you the baby’s closest person and not just by body but also by soul.
You know what’s best for your child, so listen to your baby, go with your common sense and trust your maternal instincts.
Doesn’t matter if your decision came out right or wrong, don’t be too hard on yourself. All parents make mistakes because every child is different and it takes time to understand them and develop a bond. So don’t feel guilty if you made a mistake.
Love yourself first to love your child.
Give yourself some ‘me time’ every once in a while. This will help you a lot in making better decisions for your child and your family.
Spend quality time
You will not believe how fast the baby’s brain grows and learns everything around them. They observe hundreds of things from you every day, so make sure you spent quality time with them. And by quality time I mean giving your undivided attention, talking and playing with them. Talking and reading stories have a great impact on a child’s early development as they are absorbing every word and every action of yours.
When children hear more words, it helps to improve their understanding of the language, and increases the number and variety of words that they can understand and use. And it’s not just about better language skills. Talking with babies helps their brains develop and can help children do better at school when they’re older.
Develop good habits early
Developing good habits early is always easy as compared to trying to change an old habit. Whether it’s about basic manners, cleanliness, screen restrictions or healthy eating habits, try to instill those habits as early as possible. In the early years, kids can be mold easily as their personality is developing. So it’s better to discuss it with your partner about it and implement it in your home as early as possible.
Practice what you preach
Your child is your reflection and as I said earlier they absorb everything from their environment. If you want to teach them truthfulness, don’t lie to them or make false promises. If you want to develop their interest in reading in them, read with them. If you don’t want them to talk loudly or use bad language don’t ever use foul language in front of them.
Because if you don’t do what you say, they will never obey.
They become what they see & listen and act the way we conduct ourselves around them. So become that person that you want them to become, it’s as simple as that. Okay, maybe not so simple. But its the only way.
Stay in the pictures
This is a little funny point amongst all the serious ones in the list. But it is a common mistake that we as parents and especially mothers overlook. While capturing your baby’s precious moments don’t forget to include yourself every once in a while in the photos. Because these are your captured memories that you and your family will cherish whole life.
Your baby’s childhood will never come back neither will this time and this moment with you.
Don’t s as a mother
Don’t give them what they want every time
In order to keep our kids happy or to avoid disappointing them, we give them in excess. This is bad for us and bad for our kids. Because they are going to live in a world where they will not always be able to have whatever they want when they want it. Also giving everything right away won’t let develop patience in them. Whenever they will not get anything they will get impatient and mad. Our kids have to learn to wait.
Sometimes it’s better to say them no even if you can give them what they ask for.
If they don’t begin to learn this lesson while they are young, they will have very difficult lives as adults.
Don’t stress over your baby’s development and compare them with other kids
Every baby is different and so is his/her development. Don’t stress over small things like measurements, skin color and each and every milestone etc., as long as they are active and healthy. Same goes for bigger kids.
Not every kid can come 1st in class. Not every child is good in sports. Not every kid is good in making friends. Each child is different and unique in their own way.
And they don’t need to be same. Even siblings can be different in nature and therefore they should not be compared on basis of their physical, social, emotional and mental growth and differences.
Don’t set boundaries on the basis of child’s gender
It’s not a rule that a boy can’t wear pink or a girl can’t wear blue. Similarly, it’s not necessary that boys always play with cars and guns and girls always like dolls and kitchen sets.
They should be encouraged to play with all kinds of games and with all kinds of toys, so its easier for them to understand the other gender when they grow up and become adults.
Same goes for their career choices. Don’t force them to take a specific career path only because of the stereotypical gender associated career paths. Let them choose what they like and enjoy rather than imposing your ideas and wishes on them.
Don’t judge other mothers
Don’t judge others mothers on the basis of different choices they made. Every mother wants to do the best for her kids. So don’t give your unsolicited advice to her the about her kids. Because they are her kids and she knows what suits and best for them.
Don’t apologize for the way you parent
If your parenting style doesn’t match with somebody else’s don’t apologize or feel bad. Do your research and choose what’s best for your kid and family. If a system or rule works in one family it doesn’t mean that it will work for yours too. So if it doesn’t match with anyone, don’t apologize for your own parenting style.
Best of luck and happy parenting mamas 🙂